I have no idea when I started this draft, but I am pretty sure it was as depressing as can be. The title itself says it all. I just have to post it for the sake of staying on a roll. This world scares me and the fact that I was writing about “happiness” scares me even more. I do not believe in ultimate “happiness”. If you walk around asking each person you meet about the definition of “happiness”, I am pretty sure there will never be two answers alike. That is of course if you are asking people to be specific.


I live in fear of finding out what “happiness” really is.


I do not care to pursue it. All I know is that I was born to die. Life goes on and I could be speaking like someone from another dimension. I could have a twin. I do not know.


Let us just live and do what we feel we need to do. We all die at some point.

It does not matter what you buy, what you own, what you believe in, what you love, who you love or whether you were loved or not. We all die in the end. Can anyone deny that?


I may be pessimistic to your eyes, but in fact I am realistic in my own eyes.


And that is all that matters.

How many times..

Life goes on and surprises us each day. Sometimes it’s the good kind of surprises and sometimes it’s the bad. Kicking you down while you’re already on the ground has become the norm these days. But I’ve always belived in something, no matter how hard it gets; some day it’ll get better.

Life as is.

We all find it difficult to see things the same way we all see. It’s very hard for me to deal with people because I never know what to expect from the person I’m talking to. Have you ever looked someone in the eye and just try to imagine what the outcome of the conversation you’re having could be?! It’s very hard, no matter how hard you practiced and tried.

In our life, very few people can handle the truth and the facts; those people are the ones who stick around longer, even if they’re not there they remain in our hearts, because they are the ones who mattered most.

At my old job, I met people who would just flood you with compliments as you go, and to be honest, it felt much more secure than my new job where I get no compliments but the truth. At my old job they had no argument to let me go, I could just pull out the old card of “you said, he said” and I’ll just get my job back with a possible raise!

However, when you meet people who just tell you what you’re really worth to them it just puts a lot of things into perspective and pushes you to always give that 110% the whole way through.

Moral is that the truth might hurt and scare, but it keeps you on top giving all you got and pushing your limits to be better than what you really are.

Ironic situation I’m put through every single day when my fiancé wonders why I don’t get upset when she criticises something I’ve done and she gets fussed if I tell her about something she’s done; isn’t that what it should be like?! But I don’t blame her for living in a society where all you hear are compliments and rarely the truth!

Let’s change the world and be honest. We’re a generation of honesty. We’re a generation that just doesn’t know when to shut the hell up, and will not till we get what we want!

Let’s take pride in everything that we are! Bow to yourself and embrace everything you believe in. It’s not the end and will never be the end till we decide it’s the end.

I love you all.


Can I change?!

Continue reading “Can I change?!”

Peace with the Past

We all have a past. Our past is whaylt defines who we are today and what we have become. We learned things, sometimes consciously and other times unconsciously. Is what we have learned always what we want?! No, it is not, and that does not mean that we need to go back in time to change it to what we want. It only means that we learned what we needed to learn in order to survive today. What we must focus on is the lesson and deal with it in a way that will benefit us in the most way possible.

In my life, I had to learn many lessons on my own, mostly in the absence of the most basic needs of life, family and friends. It was not easy. It was not fun. It was, at times, suicidal; until today.

I need to make peace with my past. I need to make peace with my past. I need to make peace with my past.

We live.

We live in a world where everything has become so materialistic and shallow. Looking at life from a detailed perspective, you find so many depressing facts that we live with in denial of their existence. Some say “be optimistic and have faith.” what if I have faith but no optimism?! Could you please define ‘faith’…Sometimes I look into people’s eyes and try to figure out what they mean by what they’re saying, and if they really do mean what they say and apply it or just say it…It’s very rare to find a person who actually does what he/she says…


yet, we live…


to be continued..


I always tend to fall in love, but the truth about love makes me run away. I always tend to listen, but the fact that people rarely listen I tend to talk about what I don’t want to talk about. I always tend to go with the flow, but the normality of the flow scares me and gets me to go against it.

I always tend but never do.